This is very hard to write.

[sandra demenezes]

My name is Sandra. I got this email yesterday, about this site about the lost ones you loved. On May 28th, 1993, I gave birth to my stillborn son. I went into a massive hemorrage and he died. This is the first time I ever went on a website and shared this. This is not easy. I only had less than 2 months to go. I was married, had 3 children from my other marriage. Me and my husband never had any other children. We were married twice, and this last summer we got divorced, after 19 years. When he died my husband went into shock, lying in bed for weeks. So, for 2 days I held my stillborn baby by myself for 2 days alone. Every day I wonder what I did, not to deserve him. My parents have passed away , but they were in there 70's had a long life with good times. But, I have accepted that. But, when you loose a baby, a child, its different. You never expect to bury youre child. I also thought time would heal my heart, it hasn't. He would of been 16 on this coming Memorial Day. I pray for anyone that might understand maybe what I'm going through. Alot of people are very insensitive, and say We'll God knew. Yes, but that doesn't help. I have never have gotton over it, because a woman just doesn't get prepared to deal with burying a baby. Sandra

[SIS,LISA ALFORD]

SANDRA, THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND YES WE DO NOT WANT AND EXPECT TO BURY OUR CHILD AND IT IS HARD AND I DO UNDERSTAND AND KNOW THAT THIS WAS VERY HARD FOR YOU TO SHARE WITH US AND I DO APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH. I WOULD LOVE TO JUST PUT MY ARMS AROUND YOU AND GIVE YOU A GREAT BIG HUG JUST BE CAUSE YOU NEED IT AND WHO DON'T NEED A HUG FROM TIME TO TIME BLESS YOUR HEART I FELT YOUR PAIN AS I READ YOUR STORY IT BROKE MY HEART. SO I SAY TO YOU SANDRA, TIME WILL HEAL YOUR HEART IT TAKES TIME BUT IT WILL AND I ASK RIGHT NOW THAT GOD PUT HIS LOVING ARMS AROUND YOU AND COMFORT YOU AS YOU GO THROUGH THE LOSS OF THIS CHILD AND TO HELP YOU JUST TO SEE THAT YOU WILL SEE THIS CHILD WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN YALL WE BE TOGETHER AGAIN AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HOLD IT AGAIN JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN IT WAS BORN I ASK THIS PRAYER IN JESUS NAME AMEN. GOD BLESS YOU SISTER AND THANKS AGAIN FOR SHARING YOUR MEMORIES. LISA

[SIS,LISA ALFORD]

[Christena]

Dear Sandra, My heart and love go out to you for your losses..may God grant you peace and understanding. If it were not for the love of God I would be in a mental institution by now but He has given His grace to me. I could never give birth to children due to cancer but my late husband and I adopted a girl and boy who gave us much hope for the future. My husband had a massive bleed in his brain in 1994, he had emergency brain surgery and praise God he survived and was paralyzed but he enjoyed life for the next 10 yrs. then cancer took him home to be with the Lord, since then our children got into trouble with the law and ended up in prison and now home but now their children are following their parents path. All this has really been bad for me but praise God I can lean on Him for my strength. You can be assured that I will keep you in my prayers. Christena